No sermon this morning, just the story of two men, both in the very late stages of their lives, in fact both knowing - because their minds are still sharp - that it is only a matter of time, and not much time, before they are called from this world to the next. In many ways their stories are similar - they are both self made men, although they found their success in different fields. They are well known in the Jewish community, the kind of people if you mention their names most Jews would nod their heads. But as they face the end of their lives, there is something starkly different about them as they look back, as they consider their years.
Let me tell you first about Dave. He has had a long and adventurous life, with many ups and downs, and reversals of fortune along the way. Dave came from humble beginnings, like so many in the Jewish community from his generation. He was the youngest child in a large family, and growing up he was constantly competing with his brothers for attention and success. He worked hard, he was very bright, and also a religious man, something that would be important to him throughout his life. He spent some time in the service during the Second World War, where he saw heavy action in the European theater, something that may have left an impact on him, although he never talks about it. I do know that he received a bronze star medal for bravery in battle.
Personal relationships have always been challenging for Dave. He has been married multiple times, and I am not sure how many children he has, but I know maintaining a good relationship with them has always been a problem for him, and at least one of his children hasn’t spoken to him for many years. But professionally his life was a different story - he was very successful. Politics was his game, and he gradually rose through the ranks of the political system. He was the kind of player who knew everyone, and he was a good manager of people in the political sense - he could get what he wanted by playing people off against one another, by making private arrangements with the right parties ahead of time, by keeping track of who had helped him and who had hindered him along the way. Those who had helped him, he rewarded. Those who had hindered him, he remembered - he had a long memory. But regardless of his methods or morals, no one could argue that in his day he was one of the most powerful men in the community, and if you wanted to get just about anything done, you had to go talk with Dave.
The other man I’ll call Abe. The arc of his life was very similar to Dave’s. He came from a humble immigrant family, traveling from a foreign land to reach his home here. Like Dave, Abe was a man of faith, and has remained one of the most deeply religious people I’ve ever known. His success didn’t come in politics, but rather in business. He started as what we used to call a mocheir keilim - a sort of traveling dry goods salesman. He would go from place to place, sell what goods he had, and when he had a few extra pennies he would buy something that he thought was a good value, and he would sell it at a better price at his next stop. Over time, through extremely hard work, with a little luck, and with great perseverance, he was able to build his business to the point where he had hundreds of employees, and he became a very wealthy man, one of the most respected and wealthiest men in the community.
Abe’s personal life was also pretty complicated, and he certainly had his personal ups and downs. But he did maintain a long and devoted marriage with his first wife, and when she died he married again, to an old friend, a woman he had known for a long time, and they were able to share meaningful years as they aged together - they have been true companions, very grateful for one another. Abe has two sons, one stayed in town, one moved away. The relationships he has with his boys have been particularly tricky for him, but at the end of the day, he was able to navigate it so there was mutual respect and caring, and this has been proved recently, as the boys have been there for him - both of them - and will be there for him to the end.
What is striking to me now, having spent time with both Abe and Dave in the last few days, is how differently they are approaching their remaining time. Dave lies in a hospital bed, and he is bitter, and angry, and unconsolable. Every person that visits him, whether family or friend or doctor or nurse, receives a sharp or nasty word. You might think, with his complicated history, knowing that the end of his life was coming, he would want to make amends, or try to reach out to some of the people who have been important to him, or look for some sense of completion or resolution about his life and his relationships. But he can’t do it! The anger and bitterness have totally overwhelmed him, and I think as he looks back he is only able to remember enemies and his failures, and disappointments.
Abe is in a totally different place. He is reflective and contemplative, grateful for the time he has had and what he has been able to accomplish. He is proud of his life and his family, he is contented in his old age. And I think that as he looks back in wahtever time he has left, he feels that he has done his best, that he has been able to live with integrity and honor, and that he can face the end of his life with dignity and resolve. He is living out his last days at home, surrounded by family, and those who visit him leave with a tear in their eye and admiration in their hearts.
Now the way Baltimore is some of you may be trying to figure out who the heck are these people I am talking about? Others of you may have already figured out that the Dave I am talking about is King David, because we read about the approaching end of his life in this morning’s haftara - and in his last days he is as bitter and angry as any person could possibly be. And of course the reason that haftara is chosen for today is because in the Torah reading there is a description of the end of Abraham’s life - the Abe I’ve been talking about. Who dies with dignity and grace, surrounded by family, and, as the Torah describes it, b’seiva tova, zakein v’saveia - a good ripe age, old and contented.
You may remember the James Taylor song, the Secret of Life - what is it? Enjoying the passage of time. But the secret to the end of life is all the days that we live before that moment comes. If we live those days with honor and grace, with kindness and compassion, with humor and warmth, with family and friendship, with dignity and caring, then one day, God willing many, many, many years from now, we will be like Avraham Aveinu, Abraham our father - at a good ripe age - old, blessed, and very contented with our years and how we have lived them.
|
